


Prom

by EnterLameUsernameHere



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Dysphoria, FTM, FTM Stiles Stilinski, Gender Dysphoria, Transgender
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-10-16 13:56:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10572699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnterLameUsernameHere/pseuds/EnterLameUsernameHere
Summary: Prom is a time in every teenagers life thats supposed to bring nothing but joy, this is not the case for Stiles. Sure, the idea of going to prom was great when her best friend Scott asked her two months ago but that was before the actual planning for prom came in, before the dress shopping came in. She didn't want to wear a dress and make up and do her hair, she wanted to look just like Scott and all the other boys, but that was exactly the problem...she wasn't a boy.





	1. dress shopping

"Come on, I'm sure you look great!" Scott called from the other side of the dressing room door.

 

"No I don't, this is too tight. It makes my hips look huge, and theres _way_ too much padding in the..." Stiles trailed off, not wanting to say that word in reference to something she was wearing.

 

"Stiles, this is the third dress you've refused to buy without even showing us! If you don't get your ass out here right now I swear I will hit you." Lydia yelled.

 

There was a slight rustling sound from the other side of the door before the handle started to turn. Out stepped Stiles, the poofy pink dress looked strange in contrast to her long brown hair tied into a bun, as usual, and make-up-less-face. The dress was tight around her waist with frilly material starting just above the hips and going down to about mid-thigh, it was a strapless dress that made Stiles' bust look much larger than it normally did under her sports bra and sweatshirt. No one spoke for a solid minute after she stepped out from the small dressing room.

 

"I knew it, I look dumb, don't I? I told you." 

 

"No! Buddy you look great! This is totally the one you should get." Scott smiled at his best friend. Stiles tried her best to smile back but this all just felt so wrong.

 

"You sure?"

 

"Yes! I wouldn't lie to you. We'll go put these dresses back while you change out of that one." Scott and Lydia picked up the pile of discarded dresses laying on the floor of the dressing room and headed toward the main part of the store.

 

Stiles went back into the dressing room, locking the door and sliding down it before having a full on breakdown right there on the floor. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. It was senior prom, this is supposed to be fun. Trying on dresses was always filled with laughter and happiness in those make-over sequences on '90s teen movies, why couldn't it just be like that? Stiles sobbed silently on the floor for what felt like hours until finally there was a knock on the other side.

 

"You almost done? It's been like 10 minutes..." Scott asked.

 

Stiles sighed and jumped up, "Yeah, I, I'll be right out" her voice was shaky and tears were still running down her face.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

"What? Yeah, I just, uh," Stiles pulled the dress off, nearly ripping the bow that tied it together in the back. "I stubbed my toe."

 

"Okay.." Scott seemed doubtful but didn't question it any further.

 

After buying the dress, the three friends went out for pizza and talked for hours. Scott couldn't help but notice that Stiles didn't seem fully focused during the conversations.


	2. prom

"He's here!" Sheriff Stilinski yelled up the stairs. Stiles heard her dad open the door and greet Scott. While most seniors were looking forward to prom, Stiles has just been looking forward to getting it over with for the past month. Sure, it seemed like a good idea when Scott asked her about two months ago but a few weeks later the reality of it all set in. She was going to have to wear a dress and heels instead of a suit and tie. She was going to have to curl her hair instead of just putting some gel in it. She was going to have to wear make up.

 

Stiles took one last look in the mirror before walking down the hall toward the stairs. 

 

"You can do this, its going to be fine. Its just a couple of hours." She mumbled to herself before pasting on a fake smile and descending down the staircase.

 

"You look so beautiful!" Her dad's face lit up, she felt a lump in her throat as she tried her best to smile back.

 

"Yeah, you look really good." Scott told her.

 

"Now, I hate to be _that_ parent but, come stand by the fireplace so I can take pictures." Sheriff Stilinski pulled out his phone.

 

 _'great, photographic evidence of the absolute worst night of my life.'_ Stiles thought, before another voice in her head told her that it wouldn't be so bad and she could do it to make everyone else happy.

 

After about a million photos, three hugs, and one incredibly awkward 'no sex or alcohol' speech, Scott and Stiles finally made it out of the house. Scott grinned at the look of pure shock on Stiles' face when she saw the limo that was waiting for them in her driveway.

 

"You didn't think I was gonna go to prom _without_ doing something super cliché and cheesy did you?"

 

"No, I just didn't know you were so lame." Stiles joked, trying to forget about the mess of emotions going on in her head. Scott looked genuinely hurt. "Oh, come on. You know I'm kidding. This is sweet!"


	3. prom night

Everyone was either hooking up in hotel rooms or going to parties (to hook up) after prom, everyone _including_ Stiles' friends. But she couldn't. She had wanted to cry since the moment she'd put the dress on and she couldn't take it anymore.

 

"I think I'm just gonna go home.." She faked a yawn "I'm pretty tired."

 

"No, come on! Come to the party with us it will be fun"

 

"No, I was, I was up really late last night and I got up super early this morning so I think I'm just gonna go home and crash." She tried to sound casual about it, not wanting anyone to know that she was on the verge of having a complete mental breakdown. This all felt so wrong. She'd spent the majority of the night just looking around at the guys on the dance floor and being super jealous of their flat chests and button down shirts. She couldn't take it anymore.

 

The second she got home she kicked off her heels and ran upstairs to her room. Luckily, her dad had a night shift at work and wasn't there to ask questions. She couldn't even bare the thought of having to speak right now. Her voice was usually higher than she wanted it to be, but the tears building up in her eyes and the lump in her throat told her that it would be particularly high right now, and she knew that would only make things worse. When she got to her room she pulled off the dress and threw on her favorite sweatshirt and basketball shorts. She tried to pull her hair up into the bun that typically sat on her head but with the three coats of hairspray the lady at the salon had put in it earlier, it wouldn't budge. She struggled with it for a full five minutes, trying desperately to push down the bumpy curls and twist it into a bun, but nothing had seemed to work. She knew it wasn't going to stay flat until the hairspray had been washed out.

 

Stiles walked into her bathroom with the intention of taking a shower, but the scissors on the counter stuck out to her and, well, she wasn't exactly thinking clearly in the middle of this breakdown. She reached for the scissors and walked over to the mirror. She grabbed a chunk of her hair and, without thinking twice, snipped it off. She continued to do this over and over again until all of her long flowy hair was laying on the floor and she had a similar haircut to 2011 Justin Bieber. Sure it wasn't exactly the look she was going for but it was so much better than before. Now when she moved her head it wasn't weighed down, when she looked in the mirror she could identify slightly more with the person looking back at her, everything was great...until...it wasn't.

 

Reality slapped her hard in the face. This didn't change anything. Her hair was different but her body wasn't. Her face was still too round and her chest too big. She still couldn't speak without cringing at the sound that came out. Her hips were still wider than her waist, and her thighs thicker than they should be. Her body was naturally squishy instead of firm and muscly. She tried to wipe the mix of tears and make up from her face but the mascara lines running down her cheeks wouldn't budge. After angrily staring at her reflection through blurred vision for about ten minutes, she pulled off her clothes and jumped in the shower. She just let the water run over her body for a while, refusing to look down at the lumps that shouldn't be on her chest, instead staring straight ahead. After standing there silently sobbing for what felt like years, she stepped out of the shower, dried off her body, threw on the same sweatshirt and shorts she'd had on before, and climbed into bed, not even caring if there was still make up on her face anymore.


	4. the morning after - part one

Stiles woke up to a still slightly damp pillow from crying the night before. She didn't check the clock but she knew from the small amount of light coming in the window and how tired she still was that it must be super early in the morning. Her dad must have just gotten home and thats what woke her up. Even though she didn't feel like getting up or talking to anyone, she was unbearably thirsty and in desperate need of a glass of water. She slowly crawled out of bed and walked downstairs to the kitchen where her dad was making something to eat before he went to sleep.

 

"Oh, good mor- what did you do to your hair?" Stiles' dad looked shocked as he turned around. Stiles had kind of forgotten about cutting it, it just felt so natural.

 

"I cut it."

 

"Yeah, I can see that. But why? Your hair looked so nice, just like your mom."

  
Stiles looked down, uncomfortably.

 

"But what if I didn't want to look like her?"

 

"What?"

 

"I don't want to look like her."

 

Stiles' dad looked partly shocked and partly hurt. "Why not? Your mom was very beautiful, you know."

 

"I know. I just- I don't.. I don't want to be."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"I mean, just, I-" Stiles stumbled over her words, she didn't know what to say or how to say it or even if she should say it, "It's nothing, I'm just tired." with that Stiles went back upstairs, without even getting the water she had come down for in the first place.


	5. the morning after - part two

When Stiles woke up for the second time that morning it was because of the ringing coming from her phone. Without even opening her eyes she patted her hand around on the bed until finding her phone underneath the pillow beside her and answered it. 

 

"Dude, what have you been doing, I've been texting you for like an hour." Scott whispered from the other side of the phone.

 

"Sorry, I was sleeping."

 

"Sleeping? It's like noon.."

 

"Okay, can you just stop judging me and tell me why you called, and why you're whispering?" Stiles snapped back. The emotions from last night were still weighing heavily on her chest and she wasn't in the mood for small talk.

 

"I was getting there. I called because I need you to come get me, I think I'm at Jacksons."

 

"You _think_?" 

 

"Well, I'm in a living room..and theres pictures of him on the mantle"

 

"Okay, why're you whispering though?"

 

"People are still sleeping, it was a crazy party..you should've come. Anyway can we stop playing 20 questions now?"

 

"Fine, I'm on my way."

 

Stiles didn't bother changing her clothes or even looking in a mirror before getting in her jeep and driving to Jacksons. If she didn't look in the mirror she could at least try to pretend she passed as a boy. At least until Scott got in the car and she had to talk to him, then she'd have to listen to the high pitched sound of her voice that she hated so much.

 

As soon as Stile's pulled up to Jacksons house, Scott was walking out the door toward the jeep. 

 

"Thank you so much for coming to get me, I have no idea how I got here last night." 

 

"No problem"

 

"Holy shit, what happened to your hair?"

 

"I cut it. I always had it up anyway, so you know..whats the point in having long hair? Just got in the way."

 

"Oh..did you do that last night or this morning?" Scott seemed confused.

 

"Last night."

 

"Is that why you didn't come to the party?"

 

 

"No, I didn't even know I was gonna do it until after I got home."

 

"So why didn't you come then?"

 

"I, you know..I needed to study, and stuff.."

  
"Since when do you study? And I thought you said last night you were just too tired to come?"

 

"Oh well, yeah, I was, I was tired..but then when I got home I realized I needed to study." Scott looked very doubtful, but changed the subject anyway.

 

"Shit, my head hurts so bad." With that, Stiles reached down to grab a bottle of aspirin and then threw it at him. 

 

"Figured it would."  
  


Scott didn't say anything after that, he just took the aspirin, laid his head back, and closed his eyes.


	6. the talk

"Scott, dude, wake up." no response. "Scott...wake up" still nothing. "Dude come on, do I need to slap you?"

 

With that, Scott rolled over and groaned.

 

"You've been sleeping for like two hours..I know you partied last night but its 2pm, get up."

 

Scott groaned again.

 

"Come on, I really need to talk to you.." The tan boy sat up and looked at his best friend.

 

"When'd you cut your hair?"

 

"Last night, we discussed this already."

 

"...right, okay what do you wanna talk about?"

 

See this is why Scott was Stiles' best friend, he listened even when he clearly didn't want to. Even when he had been out the entire night before and sitting up, talking, was clearly the last thing he wanted to be doing..but still, he was there. Stiles felt kind of bad for making him get up, but this was something that needed to be said now, or else it might never be said, and Stiles couldn't bare the thought of hiding this forever.

 

"O-okay, so..like, sorry for waking you up and everything but its just like..I need to get this out there, you know? Like if I don't now, I probably won't ever...and that would really suck, you know? Have you ever just had something that you really need to tell someone but its just like....so fucking hard that it kind of makes you want to die a little bit?" Stiles tended to ramble when nervous.

 

"What is it?" Scotts face changed from a look of annoyance to one of concern for his friend.

 

"I just- have you ever- like...." Stiles sighed, not knowing how to word it. "You know how it feels when you're wearing an outfit you're uncomfortable in or....or shoes that are just a little too tight? and even when you're not directly thinking about it..something just always feels kind of.. _off_? But then when you _are_ thinking about it, its so bad that you just want to scream, because no one else notices but its just so uncomfortable for you all the freaking time? Thats kind of how I feel every day."

 

There was silence in the room for a minute before Scott spoke "So...your shoes are too small?" he looked genuinely confused.

 

"No I just- it was an analogy. I think maybe..." Stiles' throat had a lump in it and she was finding it particularly hard to speak. "I don't think I was born in the right body."


	7. reassurance

"Okay, yeah, fuck gender, you know?" Stiles was surprised by Scott's immediate support. "I mean, thats what you meant right? You don't feel like a girl? Thats fine. You do you." 

 

Tears escaped Stiles' eyes. Sh- he. _He_ didn't want to be crying but he just couldn't help it. Sure, he knew Scott would eventually come around but he figured it would take time, he didn't think Scott would jump right in like this, and oh, did he jump right in. Right after Stiles came out, Scott insisted they did a shit ton of googling, as if Stiles hadn't been doing that for years. Stiles didn't tell Scott that though, he was just so happy that Scott supported him.

 

"Shit dude, look at this. Look at how good your chest is gonna look. If you want that, do you, by the way? Like, its fine if you don't...obviously...but just wondering."

 

Stiles laughed, "yeah, yeah I do."

 

Scotts reaction was so wonderful and it seemed like everything might actually be okay..the next major step was telling his dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg this is SUCH a short chapter, but I just wanted to throw in this little filler chapter to show Scotts support because I thought it would be cute..the next chapter will definitely be longer, sorry.


	8. late night talks

Scott and Stiles stayed in Stiles' room in front of the computer researching stuff for hours. Some of it was awkward and uncomfortable to talk about but Stiles forced himself to push past that, Scott was being so supportive and thats all that really mattered. Their research ended when Melissa called Scott wondering why he hadn't been home or even called for 2 days. He decided he should probably go home for the night but said that if Stiles needed anything to call or text and he'd be over as soon as possible. Stiles continued looking into hormones after Scott was gone. Sure, he'd done a fair amount of studying on the different kinds and doctors in the area that would help him before but now it was real. Now he had told someone and now he might actually be able to start taking the hormones soon, so he felt the need to look into it further.

 

It hadn't seemed like very long, but when Stiles finally looked up from his computer screen he realized it had been at least a few hours since he'd last looked outside. It was now dark in his room with only the light from the computer screen illuminating the room. He glanced over at his alarm clock, 8:15 PM, last time he checked was right after Scott left at 4:30. He sighed, knowing what the next step in his coming out process had to be. He dreaded the thought of telling his dad but telling him was also the only way he could possibly start transitioning before he was 18, and he couldn't stand the thought of waiting that long.

 

Stiles got up and turned on his bedroom light. He looked around at the photo booth and polaroid pictures of him and his friends that were hung around the room. They were full of smiling faces and memories of laughter, it was too bad that the only emotion he felt looking at them was sadness. They just didn't feel right. He could see his long hair in them, the one next to his dresser was from the time Lydia insisted on doing his makeup, the one beside it was from homecoming last year. They were just so wrong. He tried to picture himself looking more like a boy in them but it didn't help, all it did was make him feel worse about himself. He couldn't stand looking at them any longer, so he decided to go downstairs and grab something to eat since he hadn't had dinner, or any food all day now that he thought about it.

 

"There she is!! Haven't seen you all day, I thought maybe you disappeared or something." Stiles smiled at his dad, trying not to be mad at the usage of female pronouns.

 

 _'he doesn't know yet_ ' Stiles told himself.

 

"I made some spaghetti earlier, its on the stove if you want it." 

 

"Thanks I'm starv- you know what, actually..can we talk for a minute?" Fuck, what had he just done? He wasn't ready for this conversation.

 

"Of course!" Too late to back out now, Stiles sighed.

 

"So I.." Stiles paused, how did he want to say this? "I think that-" he couldn't figure out the right words. "Its just like, I-" why was this so fucking hard??

 

"What is it?" His dad looked concerned.

 

"Never mind, I just, I'm gonna get something to eat." Stiles began to walk away but his dad grabbed his arm and pulled him onto the couch next to him.

 

"No, this is the second time today you've been going to say something but decided not to. Whats going on? I'm worried."  
  
  


"Oh, I mean you don't have to worry, its not bad. Well like, it could be I guess..it kinda depends on how you see it so I don't really know if you'll think its bad.." Stiles rambled on, trying to avoid the question. His dads face was a mixture of annoyance and concern. "I just, sometimes- sometimes things just, feel wrong." His dad looked more confused now than he did before. Stiles wished they could leave it at that, but he knew he had to explain more. "Like, when you- uh..like when you called me a 'she' earlier? It just feels wrong." Stiles held back tears. He didn't know if he was about to cry due to actual sadness or just because of how stressful this situation was. His heart was pounding louder than it ever had before, his hands were sweaty, and his mouth was so dry he could barely speak. "I think-" Stiles took a deep breath. "I think, I'm a boy...and I really need you to be okay with that."

 

The sheriff looked confused for a second but then he pulled Stiles into a hug. "Of course I'm okay with that. I just need you to be happy, as a parent thats all I want is to make sure you're happy and healthy and if this is the way to make you happy...I'm okay with it."


End file.
